Socially Mundane

Unexpected email, just moments ago:

Chromebooks now available Buy Now

You asked to be notified when Chromebooks became available. We’re pleased to inform you that they’re available starting at $349



Built for the web.

Listen to music. Play games. Edit photos. Thanks to the Chrome Web Store, you can find apps to do anything.

Stay connected.

With a long-lasting battery and built in WiFi and 3G, it’s easy to stay connected anytime, anywhere.

Boots in 8 seconds. Resumes instantly.

Chromebooks are fast — and are designed to get faster over time as they get automatically updated.

I don’t remember asking to be notified when Chromebooks became availabe. I don;t think I did. I could have, but I don’t see myself doing that. Could it be you are simply spamming GMail accounts en masse? I really don’t know.

Nice touch with the “Buy now” link. I notice that the price you advertise is actually almost misleading as every Chromebook is $499, except just one. At $150 difference, the one you advertise is more of a piece of shit than the rest. And it’s not even the one you are picturing in your advert! False or misleading advertising is illegal in the United States, Google. The Samsung you are picturing (with 3G version as you describe) is $500. On Amazon! Discount-central!

I suppose this means having hardware built in the cheapest possible way with the cheapest possible materials that is essentially nothing but a “hardware web browser”. I ask: why would I even want one of these? Especially when a “decent” one costs the same as the astonishingly superior iPad?

I mean, Google, why don’t you actually mention how long battery life per charge is? “Long-lasting battery” is relative. And because everything beyond Google-provided anything must be obtained in the Chrome Web Store, the cost will exponentially climb as I buy (read: probably have to spend real money for) free web apps.

I know: Apple’s App Store offers much that costs money also. True. However, that stuff is downloaded to the iPad, it’s native and local. Your Chromebook relies on you and your servers staying online and my having net access (at per megabyte charges on 3G) and that your rogue employees won’t freeze and ban all my Google accounts for questionable reasons, causing me to lose years of email, photos, documents and all manner of my digital life.

Google Chromebook: it’s shiny and new. But it’s still a “NetBook” computer, but with less functionality and higher cost. It’s nothing more than a novelty and it’s ridiculously limited, which makes it stunningly over-priced and designed specifically for gullible sheep.

Which means School Administrators and I.T. folks will jump at the opportunity to radically waste our tax dollars on over-priced pieces of shit. Hence: status quo.

Brilliant “don’t be evil” move on your part, Google.