As organisational hierarchies and layers are reducing, enhancing the ability to influence others and personal effectiveness is vital in the modern workplace. Achieving success and achieving results must be accomplished through collaboration and by others. Being able to influence others without formal authority is an essential skill, and we cannot accomplish this without the confidence, clarity of thought and the communication skills to effectively express ourselves. In our role as leaders, we will require us to draw from our personal characteristics as well as how we can encourage and engage our followers.
But influencing skills is not solely about getting people to agree to our point of view. In fact, we might be able to persuade people to cooperate with us AND they may not always be in agreement with our views. It’s not about achieving at all costs and needing to be in our own ways all the all the time. This is not about pushing or convincing other people to change. We can’t change other people.
Influencing skills IS about behaving in ways that give others the invitation to change (their behavior, attitudes thoughts, or ways of thinking) or accommodate your desires, while accepting that they might not be able to or unwilling to, or are unprepared to meet our request to be affected.
Definition of influencing skills
Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, defines influencing as
“not the ability to persuade an individual to do what you want them to do but the ability to get yourself to accomplish what you want to accomplish”
We may like it and/or not fact is that we employ our influence skills constantly and not just through our actions. Being present at a meeting may influence people in a positive or negative way. The style or nature of our presence, the words you say or the way we say it and the attitude we (unconsciously or not) project is a huge influence.
The smarter we can get at understanding what we are doing or what we are doing about us that is affecting on others, the more personally efficient and effective we become.
Ten key influencing skills
Watching – paying attention to the non-verbal behavior of a person – what’s not said, and how a person might feel, taking note of your own thoughts as well as your feelings, thoughts, hunches and intuitions
Interpretation – to understand and respond to non-verbal signals What are body signals change in skin colour, breathing, demeanour, and so on.
Active Listening – listening to what’s said and listen to what is implied or not, and also to convey with your own words what the other person said and express their opinions in a way that summarizes any disagreement or clarity.
Feedback – provide feedback to your partner on what you see, interpret the information you hear and see as well as your feelings and intuition. Get feedback from other people in order to build your self-knowledge and your impact on others.
Awareness – Be aware of yourself, moment by moment, and especially of behaviors that are detrimental to your health and your negative thoughts, beliefs and reactions.
Make a conscious decision – recognize at any moment that, the way you’re acting isn’t working, you have the option to modify your own behavior, thoughts and emotions.
Self-confidence is the feeling of being at ease when faced with resistance or conflict. The confidence you have should be built on acceptance of self rather than a feeling of superiority over the other.
Timing – you must be able to ensure that the timing is right like when to give feedback and when not to, when to use choice A or B in order to stop or remain persistent, and when to surrender completely.
Intuition: Trust your own feelings or hunches about the probable patterns of another person’s behaviour, to listen to your inner positive voice.
Other’s Viewpoint – to look at your goals (what you’d like to achieve) from the other person’s perspective. It is impossible to force them to agree so decide what’s best for them. Then, present the benefits, look at their feelings and be prepared to alter your position.
In today’s workplace, you depend very heavily on relationships and influence skills, both with and through other people. It is rare that you can be personally effective and influence others positively without the reciprocal giving and taking from others that creates opportunities for your growth and your efficiency – and you can only do this when you are supported and challenge that only others can offer you. For communication & influencing skills training get in touch with Inner Leader.
