Skip to content
Home » The Dos and Don’ts of Letting Your Bridesmaids Choose Their Own Dresses

The Dos and Don’ts of Letting Your Bridesmaids Choose Their Own Dresses

You have now gathered the perfect social circle and it’s time to pick what everyone will be wearing. While it’s not mandatory that everyone wear the same outfits for the wedding, many couples prefer a cohesive look. In tradition, the bridesmaids wore the same outfit or dress. This allows the bride to stand out, creates cohesive photos and helps other wedding guests identify the members. But many couples are now letting the bridesmaids decide what they want. There are some upsides and downsides to this arrangement. Here are the details to help you achieve the look of your dreams.

We get it. You are the bride and you have to control everything. This freedom can have some advantages for your bridesmaids.

Comfort. Comfort. It doesn’t work for everyone and your bridesmaids might feel dissatisfied if they are forced to wear the same dress as everyone else. If they are comfortable choosing their own dresses, they may be able find styles that flatter their body.
Confidence. A similar principle applies to you: When you feel good, you feel great. You’ll feel confident on your wedding day when your bridesmaids wear dresses they love or are comfortable in.
Price. Bridal parties are often plagued by money. It’s not cheap to be a bridalmaid. Your bridesmaids don’t have the responsibility of settling on a cost that works for everyone (or feeling guilty about choosing costly dresses).

Is this not a little bit too off-the-rails?

Definitely. It is nerve-wracking to allow your bridesmaids full control over their dresses for your wedding. You don’t want to end with a completely mismatched wedding (unless you have the guts!). There are pros and cons to allowing your bridesmaids to choose their own gowns.

Cohesion. Your bridesmaids can choose their own blue bridesmaid dresses, but they won’t all wear the same dress. This is an option to consider if you really want a cohesive look.
Confusion. Overdoing anything can lead to confusion. You might be answering lots of texts about what’s okay and not, from materials to color to price and length.

Guidelines for letting bridesmaids pick their own dresses

Clear communication about your desires and needs will make it easier for you to shop for the right dress.
Do: Be specific.

Yes, you assured your girls that seafoam was what you wanted for them. Great! Non, it’s not. If we say be specific, it means to be precise. You can be specific if you keep an eye out. Here are some details to be clearer about:

The color of your dress. It doesn’t matter what color you choose, as long as it is your preferred one. It’s possible for a person to see mauve differently than another. The choice of a single shade can make it difficult to find dresses at different stores. A color palette of 3-4 complementary colours could be a good idea for your bridesmaids. Offer to recommend a few vendors that they might like to work with.
Length. Some brides don’t mind a variety of hemlines–floor-length, knee-length, mini, midi, etc. Please let your bridesmaids be aware that you do not want them all wearing the same length of dress. If you prefer different lengths, let your bridesmaids know.
Material. You have many choices when it comes to dress materials. Even if your bridesmaids all wear the same color, wearing dresses in different materials can give you some variety. Too many materials can become distracting. Make it clear that you don’t want your children wearing a jersey knit.
Style. The level of formality. For example, if your wedding is black-tie, you might not want your bridesmaids to be wearing semi-formal attire. You should clearly indicate the dress code.

Clarity is crucial. Make sure you have your requirements and suggestions ready before you tell your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses.
Do: Make it part of a group activity.

Take a day to shop for dresses. You can start your day with brunch. Then, hit the stores. It’s best to keep it simple. Pick a few boutiques that you want to visit on your shopping excursion. Note: It might be necessary to book appointments ahead of time. This allows your bridesmaids to select from a wide range of dresses. You can also be present in person to take immediate impressions. This is a great activity for a wedding party.

It is OK if your bridesmaids are not from the same area as you or cannot make the shopping trip. Schedule Facetime with them to shop while you are away. If you don’t have a dedicated chat, you might consider creating one to help them dress up.
Do: A final inspection of your room.

There are hair and makeup trials, cake and catering tastings, and the bridesmaid dress checking-in. It’s always good to be on the exact same page before everything is finalized. Before you buy, make sure your bridesmaids have a look at their final gown choices. This will allow you to check if the dress matches your theme and vision.

Give your bridesmaids a specific deadline for their final gown check-in. While it may sound like a common move by bridezillas, we believe that it will be a benefit for everyone involved. You want everyone to have plenty of time to look for a new dress and make any necessary alterations. Your check-in should take place at least seven to eight months prior to the wedding.

Don’t forget cost.

We love the idea of letting your maids choose their dresses, which may help alleviate some financial strain. A bride can provide a shortlist (3 to 5) of dress vendors for her bridal party. Consider choosing the best options for you in a variety price ranges if this is your route. You should be mindful of the financial situation of your bridal party. Also, be open to talking with any bridesmaid who is in a difficult spot.
Don’t Disregard Shoes and Accessories

The dress is only part of the bridesmaid outfit. Accessory’s are important, especially if you choose to match your bridesmaid dress. You can bring unity to your bridal group by selecting a style or color of shoes. If you don’t know what shoe to choose, make sure to clarify your preferences. This will prevent one girl from wearing heels while another is wearing flats. You can also request that one of your bridesmaids wears flats for a personal reason. Your bridal party may prefer sneakers or flats. Remember to align yourself.

You can also let your bridesmaids decide what jewelry you prefer. Traditionally, the bride buys and then gifts the jewelry she wishes to her maids. You can let them choose what they like best. Make sure you are clear about your style,
Don’t be complicated

Your bridesmaids shouldn’t have to pick their own dresses. You might find it easier. These girls are your best bridesmaids. They want your special day to go smoothly. Let them know that you trust their abilities and they will take care of the rest. (Don’t forget thanking them for their hardwork in the planning process.

It’s possible that they’ll choose a dress they love and wear it again. Isn’t that the best scenario for any bridesmaids dress?